


Not Worth It

by Yoru_Lun



Series: Frozen Steps [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Teen Wolf (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Feels, Emotionally Hurt Stiles Stilinski, F/F, F/M, Hurt Stiles, M/M, Multi, Phil Coulson Is Claudia Stiinski's Brother, Phil Coulson is Stiles Stilinski's Uncle, Platonic Soulmates, Post-Nogitsune Stiles Stilinski, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Stiles Leaves Beacon Hills, Suicide Attempt, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-15 17:42:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9248804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoru_Lun/pseuds/Yoru_Lun
Summary: Stiles was born without a Soulmark and had waited for it for years but then, the Nogitsune happened. He is not worth it. He does not deserve a Soulmark.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A bit late in the wishing of New Year but meh, I am always late for a lot of things. So yeah, Happy New Year peoples and hope you would still be with me for this year too. 
> 
> I had just very recently fallen in love with the prospects of Soulmate AU, especially the one where the first words spoken to you by your soulmates were written on your skin in their handwriting. Reading CeliaEquus's work on it just sparked this ideas and then the angst ninja had slipped onto the train. I don't think of a happy journey whilst writing this.

Soulmark is Nature’s gift to humankind, a physical form of Fate’s tiding. People are born with it, the first words that would be spoken by your soulmate to you, written in the handwriting of the one destined for you. It can range from something as simple as ‘Hi’ to something as complicated as an over the top mathematical equations.

People who had marks that are more distinct are considered as lucky because they could know their true Soulmate with more ease than those who had a typical greeting scrawled on their skin. These marks are what that drove people to pursue certain aspects of life in hope of meeting their designated other half and it is of no surprise that many of these people found their match within the path the had chosen.

Though not all Soulmates are romantically involved. There are those who choose to settle for a platonic relationship, feeling that they are better off as friends instead of lovers despite Fate’s machination on them being the perfect pair for each other. It is rare but still possible because not everyone is romantically invested.

Having more than one mark is uncommon but not rare enough for it to be an anomaly. Romantically involved triads are rare though because not all three of them could get along with other that way and this lead to people having two Soulmates to have only one of their Soulmates in either a non-platonic relationship or a platonic relationship.

But there are also those who were not born with theirs, which could either mean that your soulmate had not been born yet or that they are already dead. They are labeled as Blank, No Word, Soulless and many other degrading names because people are meant to exist with the mark of their other half branded on their body.

And Stiles is one of that people.

He had always been fascinated with the concept of Soulmates, having seen the joy it brought to his bonded parents but for some reason, he was never born with one. His parents are patient and supportive, always convincing him that his soulmates were not born yet but as the years goes by, Stiles began to doubt it.

The death of his mother had him shoving all thought of Soulmates to the back of his mind because he had seen the devastation that was caused by the loss of your other half. Every day, he watched as his father goes on with his life without his beloved mate and his father looked nothing more than a walking corpse, a lost ghost that wandered down the halls of the house that suddenly felt too big without his mother’s encompassing presence to fill it.

He had seen the pain it caused, the anguish of feeling the dark words fading away to a silvery line that marked the death of its owner and that scared him. He does not want to find his soulmate only to lose them again. He would not be able to survive that blow because does not think he would have the strength to continue on living without having the warmth that he would undoubtedly be addicted once he had a taste of it.

For the first time ever, he was glad he was born Markless.

Though that does not make his life any better because despite fearing the outcome of losing his Soulmates, he still wished to have the happiness of knowing that there is someone out there who were created to match him, someone who would accept him for all of his quirkiness and abnormalities. He wanted to feel the joy of finding his soulmate like how Scott and Allison are, he wanted the intimate closeness that both Lydia and Jackson has, longed for the loving gaze that Boyd and Erica shared, crave for the sweet and gentle caress between Isaac and Derek.

But he does not have a mark to begin with.

So how would he be able to have any of it if he does not have a mark to aid him in finding his other half. Is he that abnormal that Fate decided that he is not worth it to has a Mark? To have someone who would be compatible with him? Someone who would be able to understand and accept him?

And then the Nogitsune possession happened and it made him realize that there is no way anyone would be able to accept the darkness simmering beneath his skin and they would definitely not be able to love him because of it. He is too dangerous for anyone, even to himself and he does not think he would be able to live with it if Allison and Aiden did die by his hands.

He had very nearly caused Scott, his precious brother from another mother, to feel the same devastating pain of losing his Soulmate, the other half of his soul and that guilt will forever eat away at him.

Yet so why did this happen?

Staring at the reflected image of his body, Stiles felt all blood rushed out from his body and a wave of lightheadedness washed over him.

He could not believe it.

He could not believe what he just saw.

He could not believe that after so long, Fate had finally decided to gift him with a Soulmark and the worst part is, he does not have only one, he has **_two_.**

A choked sob slipped out from his lips as he traced the words with shaking fingers, barely believing that this is real. After waiting for it for so long for it to appear, why does it appears now, when he is about to finally end all of it.

He felt hysterics because he has a Soulmate. He has someone who is compatible with him. He has someone out there who would accept him, who would love him and that someone would be able to understand the things that none of his friends and his own father could be able to understand.

And he has **_two_** of them.

The knife fell away from his lax hand and it clattered like a haunting tune on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor as he sank to his knees in front of the full body. Crumpling into himself, Stiles hugged his body with both of his hands covering the two marks on his skin, feeling it tingle lightly against the pads of his palms.

Why now?

Why does it has to appear when he finally did it?

His wrists throbbed at the thought and a hysteric laugh slipped pass his lips as he curled into a tight ball on the floor. The tears come unbidden and he ignored the feeling of nauseous as he pressed his forehead against the cold tiles. The laughter hitched when a broken sob stuck in his throat and he carved his nails into the dark words branded to his body, wishing with all of his might that whoever they are, they would be happy with each other.

Too lost with his own grief, he missed the sound of the bathroom door being forced open and also the shouted voices of the people that crowded in. He just let go of everything as he succumbed to the darkness whilst holding onto the two Soulmarks that pulsed warmly under his hands.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky received their third's Soulmark together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! I didn't know this would receive a good reception from you guys. Thank you for the comment and support!

Both men jerked awake when they felt the searing sensation of something hot being branded to their skin and a single look at each other’s eyes had them knowing that it is the sensation of a Soulmark forming on their skin. They both knew there would be a third between them despite not having a physical proof to confirm it but they both had mutually agreed that they would be having another Soulmate joining them one way or another.

Because despite what people said about them being the perfect Soulmate couple, both of them had always known that there was something missing between them, an unexplainable irritational urge that itched in their chest. There is always the phantom presence that left them feeling lacking, feeling incomplete because another part of them is not there with them, their other Soulmate is not there yet.

Bucky had always felt that there was something wrong with his flesh arm, as if he was supposed to drape it over someone’s shoulders but it felt wrong when he did it with Steve, like Steve is not at the right height for him to wrap his arm around his shoulders comfortably. And Steve always felt the urge to bury his face in a headful of short hair whilst his arms wrapped around narrow hips but it does not feel right when he did it with Bucky, the hair felt too long, too coarse and without the maddening phantom scent that tickled his senses.

So they both had agreed and come to term with the fact that their relationship would be a triad one when their other Soulmate finally joined them, if said Soulmate would be willing to pursue a non-platonic relationship that is. Which is what both of them had been hoping for because neither of them had holy thoughts when they tried to conjure the image of their third in their mind.

And to finally feel the sensation of Soulmark being branded to their skin, they could only feel feeling of overwhelming joy because they had been waiting for their other half since forever.

“Buck…”

Steve let out a sharp exhale when the sensation spiked momentarily and shuddered when it eased away to spread comforting warmth all over his body. Receiving a Soulmark had always been a pleasant sensation and it would be more pleasurable if the relationship is meant to be a non-platonic. Beside him, Bucky grunted as they held onto each other, trying not to be overwhelmed and swept away by the sensation of their Soulmark forming.

“About damn time. I am about ready to accept Stark’s idea of ‘Free Hugs’ campaign.”

Steve huffed out a laugh that was muffled against Bucky’s shoulder and tightened his hands on Bucky’s waist when another spasm of warmth wrecked his body. God, if only their third Soulmate is here with them right now, he is sure that both him and Bucky would end up ravishing whoever they are senseless.

“I’m on the same boat too. It has been driving me crazy.”

Bucky snorted and nuzzled against Steve’s hair as he flexed his metal hand around the bedsheet, not wanting to risk hurting Steve if the sensation got too much.

They both laid there on their shared bed, curled around each other as they waited for the sensation to fade away so that they could see the new Soulmark they were gifted with. Both of them had waited for it for years, fully knowing that they would be another one for them to love and share and they are very adamant in making this triad work when they finally found their third.

“I think it is done already.” Bucky spoke, breaking the comfortable silence that enveloped them.

Steve hummed in agreement, feeling a wave of giddy excitement as their eyes met. Finally, they have the clue needed to find their third so that they could all be complete together.

“Ready Buck?”

“Born ready punk. Now off with it.”

With shared laughter between them, they pulled down each other’s boxer, having went to sleep with only that article on. There is no guessing on where the mark would be because knowing each other, it would definitely be in intimate places. There is no way it would be in a chaste spot when they finally bonded.

Yes.

_When._

Not ‘if’ because both of them are sure the three of them would bond together once they finally meet.

And true enough to their expectation, the marks are in intimate places. Bucky’s is on the outer side of his left hip and Steve’s also at left side but higher up, on his navel. Both of them snorted and met each other’s eyes as unholy twinkle made itself present in their eyes. They could already see what position they would be in when they bonded together, the three of them at the same time.

“Think he would be up for it?”

Neither of them are dampened by the gender of their third because none of them cared about whatever gender their counterpart is because they only cared about the fact that they would be complete soon enough with their third between them. Heh. Literally.

“I am sure he would.”

Bucky whispered, brown eyes dark with smoldering intent at the thought of their third and Steve’s lips curled into a saucy smirk that his childhood friend soon mirrored when they shared a knowing look.

“Especially with the right persuasion.”

Steve felt hot under his mate’s predatory gaze and leaned in to capture those luscious lips in a heated kiss that left both of them breathless. He groaned when he felt the coldness of Bucky’s metal hand on his ass and gasped into the kiss when the brunette kneaded the two globes. Bucky did not waste any time in slipping in his tongue and devoured Steve’s lips in a hungry frenzy.

They finally parted when the lack of air become too much and peppered each other’s face with light kisses as they both catch their breath.

“Better work on your charm punk or I will take him away first.”

Bucky said, voice husky from their frenzied kissing but the smirk on his lips are undeniable. Steve rolled his eyes and playfully slapped his mate’s ass.

“Dream on lover boy. I will be the one who would charm his pants off first.”

As they both dissolved into playful banter regarding their third Soulmate, their marks for each other tingled from brushing occasionally against its counterpart.

“Can’t wait to finally meet our mysterious third.”

Steve mumbled against Bucky’s lips as he traced their other Soulmate’s mark on Bucky’s hip. Bucky hummed his agreement and pecked the blonde’s lips with a surprisingly chaste kiss compared to their previous one.

“Bet he’s a little shit like you too.”

“Like us. He wouldn’t be ours if he weren’t.”

“Whatever punk. You’re the still the shitiest of the little shit that ever existed.”

“But you still love this little shit and also our other little shit.”

“I have a type apparently.”

Both of them talked the night away, wrapped in each other’s arms and they both dozed off to the thought of their third Soulmate.

If only they know it would not be that long latter they would meet with the last piece of their triad and the troubles that followed him, they would have been more appreciative of the lackluster moments that their superhero life had gifted them with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit more intense than what I usually write but it is always good to test out new waters. I am not good with smut because I had never written it before but I will try my luck with intense making out session. Actually drooled a bit while writing this because I imagined the scene where the three of them finally bonded together, which would not be until way later. I think I wouldn't make this fic anything deep, well I think I wouldn't but knowing me and my mood swing, I make no promise.
> 
> Leave a review on the way out! I always like knowing my reader's thoughts.

**Author's Note:**

> So what do you think so far? A little bit of a hanging ending but I plan to resume this if the muse still stuck with me. This one can also be seen as an AU for the SA universe but it can also be a stand alone too. Anyway, tell me what you think of it.


End file.
